Who are you?

by ally sin

It was a gorgeous fall day, the wind was steady but light and the heat was not as oppressive as it had been during the summer months. The smell of change was in the air, i could almost see Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas on the horizon. A perfect time for a get together of kinksters. The private garden was a perfect venue for such a gathering. It wasn’t a large area but it was tastfully layed out and had many places to sit or wander about. i was feeling very spunky, happy talking with other subs i knew. Spirits were high and the evening had just begun.

Our laughter rang loud and clear, especially mine. i should have known something was different by the looks on the subs facing me, but i was too carried away. The hand which clamped heavily on my should brought me right back to Earth. i knew the hand well, i knew that heaviness too well also. i felt the connection between us,the electricity. i knew instinctively Master wanted all my attention. i closed my eyes as i felt Him slip my training collar on and buckle it. He had yet to say a word and i knew He didn’t need to. He turned and walked away with me walking a few steps behind Him, head down yet always alert to His motion. It would never do for Him to stop and me to plow into His back, once was enough to learn my lesson.

Stopping in the middle of a cleared area, His bag of toys slightly to one side, He turned to me with arms crossed. i looked up into His face waiting. “Time for some training, I need to work out some tension from this past week” He said in His low voice. i wondered for the hundreth time if i could love Him more. i doubted it. He wasn’t perfect but who is? He was taller than me, kept his dark hair fairly long but not to his shoulders, a small beard, and piercing dark eyes. His smile did strange butterfly things to my stomach. We were opposites in many ways…i was short, long dark hair, fair skinned, deep blue expressive eyes, and always smiling or laughing.

Master leaned over His toy bag as He said “you have 30 seconds to get naked”. In a flash i was struggling out of my clothes. i didn’t care if anyone saw us or was around. Whatever happened from me taking my clothes off was nothing compared to what would happen if i didn’t have them off in 30 seconds. Not knowing what He had planned, i tossed my clothes in a pile i hoped was out of the way. Master stood up and turned toward me, seeing my smile as i stood there naked as the day i was born , the grass wet on my bare feet, the cool breeze stiffening my nipples erect, my hair slowly waving in the wind . Now i just wish i knew what was in store for me.

i expected the cuffs which He effeciently placed on my wrists and ankles. i knew them well especially since i had made them. The mandatory thick black leather with soft fur lining. Standing behind me He grabbed my arms and forced my wrists behind me. This was alwasy a difficult position for me, my arms tended to rebel and i could never get the wrists to cross much less get near each other. He snapped a double end snap to hold my wrists together. What i wasn’t prepared for was the belt. Slipping this around my upper arms He pulled my wrists together closer than they had been in ages. my shoulders protested as a small moan escaped me. i drew in a breath and widened my stance, my knees getting weak . i lifted my head and closed my eyes as He tightened it even more. The strap digging into my arms, the muscles screaming in protest , my mouth shut defiantly not emitting more sounds of surrender.

i lost track of Master as i fell into the pain, to living through it, to accepting it. my head was back from the position of my arms, my large breasts pushed forward. i felt both hot and cold at the same time. Not really grounded to the physical world, but inside myself. That abruptly ended as shearing pain ripped through my left nipple. my eyes shot open to see Master in front of me smiling from ear to ear, the other nipple clamp in His hand as He fingered my right nippple to get it ready for the clamp. “Welcome back ” He said laughingly. i cringed inside as He placed the second clamp on my nipple, the pain just as bad as the first. The pain in my shoulders shifted to the back as this new assult railroaded through my mind.

i had nowhere to go. my pinned arms were aching on my back and my nipples were vieing for pain of the hour on my front. my lungs felt leaden as i tried to breath. Just the rise and fall of my chest to breath caused unheard of discomfort. i attempted to make myself small, but had no better luck than i had over this part of me since i was a teenager. i tensed and took shallow breaths, realizing Master had been running His hands all over my body, whispering in my ear, nibbling my neck. How did i miss that?

i looked up into His eyes and felt the pain recede from my mind, being replaced with His presence. His hand ran over my hair, carressing me. i smelt His aftershave,His sweat, His desire, the auroma that is exclusively Him. i smiled slightly trying to say i was okay.

“Who are you” He asked.

A puzzled look came over my face as i cocked my head to one side in the universal sign of confusion. We’d been together for almost a year and i was sure He knew my name. It had to be a trick question but for the life of me i didn’t understand. “i’m joan” i said.

“Wrong answer” He said turning toward the small bench on the side of the clearing, a hand holding the chain between the nipple clamps assuring Him i’d follow promptly. The chair was an unusual piece with a wide back with wide legs. It was more a piece of dungeon furniture. Which is exactly what it was, disguised loosely as garden furniture. Pushed to stand next to the chair, my bare stomach leaning against the back i understood it to be a very servicable spanking bench. How did i not realize that earlier in the day? Without premable i was pushed down to bend at the waist so i was laying along the back of the chair. i stayed there gasping as my arms and nipples screamed in protest and abuse. my mind went blank from the shocking white light flashing through me. i vaguely acknowledged the ankle restraints being secured to hidden bolts, another strap coming around my wasit to finish the quick but effective immobilization. my legs were wide as i felt cold air wafting across my shaven pussy lips, the wood digging into my bare flesh.

Master’s hand came down between my shoulder blades as if to hold me steady, His other hand running along my ass, the muscles tighten from being bent over. “Who are you?” He asked again.

i racked my mind which was a true feat considering the pain had control of most of it. “i am joan, Sir” i said wondering if it was the pronoun i had missed before. i knew i was wrong when He sighed announcing i was incorrect. His hand lifted and started spanking my ass hard. He had a big hand, able to cover much of my butt in each stroke. Again and again it decended, my butt getting hotter and hotter competing with the pain in my arms and tits. Tears started welling in my eyes as i fought to retain control. i stopped breathing, my body tight as a violin string as i fought hard aganst my mind, to keep control of my feelings and emotions. The fire in my ass encompassed me, i didn’t know how much more i could take when Master stopped. The chain between the nipple clamps was jerked slightly making me gasp. “Breath…..breath….” i took a small gasp of air as i felt about to explode. Fire exploded in my nipples as Master removed the clamps simultaneously, rubbing the pain back into me as the blood flowed once again into the deprived tissue. i gasped again and took more deep breaths, tears streaming down my face unheeded.

“Who are you?” This time i couldn’t answer but shook my head. “who are you ” He repeated. i whispered my name joan again, not knowing what else He wanted. “Wrong again” He said leaving my field of vision.

Without warning Master started to spank me again but this time He used something, a paddle i think, i didn’t know. i didn’t even know who i was obviously. i was unsure of everything now. my flesh already red and hot from the hand spanking screamed immediately from the paddle. i moaned and tried to squirm, my arms still secure behind me forced me to remian still least i rip them off or so i thought. The spanking lasted much shorter but more intensely. i was breathing hard feeling His hand run across my butt and thighs which he had also paid attention to. i was hot and cold, isolated and secure. i was vulnerable and safe.

“Who are you?” He asked again. This time i started babbling i didn’t know, i was joan, i was me, i was anything He wanted. “Nope” He said as i felt Him leaving me. For a second i felt terror of Him leaving but He was back in seconds. Void of any tenderness i felt a vibrator being shoved uncerminiously into my pussy. Before i could understand this new invasion something cold was smeared between my ass cheeks and a plug was pressed agaisnt my anus. Master worked it in and out slowly, twisting it but pushing to insert it with minimal time. i felt Him standing next to me and then heard ,felt vibrations starting inside me. i groaned out the awareness that both inserts were vibrating. i could even feel Master’s smile as He saw the exact second i figured it out. The controls were placed on my butt as He turned them off. Quickly placing a blindfold over my eye, He patted me on the head with the ammonishment not to go anywhere as He left my side.

i was devestated, confused, anxious. i was tied up outside, blind, exposed, and i felt alone. Not to mention humliated from the plugs in me and the controls laying on my backside. my shoulders still hurt like hell and i was unsure if i should try to get loose or wait…or write a novel. Seconds later i heard people on the path behind me. They couldn’t help but see me as i wondered if my face was as red as my ass was. The voices came closer as i tried to place a face with the voice. Before they got too close ear plugs were placed in my ears making me deaf so i was even denied that information. Hands touched me. i didn’t know who….feeling…pinching. i was embarressed, i knew all the people there, they had been my friends for a long time. Who was touching me? The vibrators were played with as i jumped each time. Hands spanked my sore butt, pulled my nipples, twisted my breasts, slapped my inner thighs, and more.

Everyone took peverse delight in trying to stimulate my clit, playing with the controls, pinching my nipples. i half expected a cock or pussy pushed in front of my face to service but was only touched and played with. i was exhausted after the first hour. i was pushed to limits but never allowed to go over the edge, never allowed to go inside myself, to float in safety from the world. They demanded i stay, feel, know i was a toy. It must have been a long time they played. my mind was numb, i felt encased, supported, a thing. i realised i knew what displays felt like at museums, the hands on type for kids. Experimented with, touched, felt with no thought how the display was going through. Only for the person’s enjoyment and learning. i fought then as hard as i could, i tried to become joan again, to be more than a thing. i was crying torrents, mumbling no, fighting something yet not sure if it was me or something else i was fighting.

Suddenly all the different hands were gone and only One’s hands were on me…sooothing me. The ear plugs were removed and i felt His hot breath next to my head. “who are you?” He asked once again.

With sudden insight i knew. i was slave. i was slave all the time, i could no more not be slave than i could stop being. i couldn’t take time out from being slave no more than i could take time out from being female. For to do that would be to say i am only sometimes that, not that it was a part of me. joan was a facade, someone i was for the most part but i was always slave in some degree. That never changed or altered. i calmed down, layed still as i felt Master move around me, the plugs pulled out, His hand grazing across my abused clit. “Tell Me who you are” He asked again since i had yet to answer.

“slave, i am slave Sir” i whispered airily, breathlessly, exhausted and totally His.

“Right answer” He said as He slammed His hard cock into me, pounding into His slave until He was satisfied. i never felt so a part of Him, owned and cherished. But it had become more than that,a sub could be owned and cherished. i was always His to use, at any time, at any moment. i would never refuse Him. It was unthinkable, not an option. i realized at that moment i would always be His slave. Master pumped into my cunt, fingering my clit as He grabbed my long hair in His other hand. He climaxed inside me as i gasped in the throes of passion. “Come for Me now My slave” He ordered. As usual, i never disobeyed Master.