I’m sure I know less than I think I do…and more than I hope I would. A D/s relationship is not totally about Dominance and submission. The two are equally important in their roles. To say the Dom is ALL important would be pure ignorance, but this isn’t supposed to be philosophical.What I know….hmmmmm
A Master guides, protects, encourages,and loves His slave.I don’t mention punishment because that is not a role of the Dominant…it is part of what he may or may not do. He is there to help a slave on her journey, a journey that He desires the destination and stops.What she is to experience and learn.
The slave has given herself to her Master, to accept His guidance, protection, friendship, love, and dominance. She exists to please Him and wants this very much. Her servitude is a gift she has given Him.
He guides His slave. He shows her new things about herself and about Himself. He allows her to explore these feelings and thoughts in a way He knows will be most beneficial to her. He introduces new ideas and practices into their relationship as He sees fit, when He thinks she is ready. He allows her to grow much in the same way a parent nurtures a child, by keeping watch yet letting the child experience the full aspect of any idea, thought , or experience while keeping the child safe.
I hit on protect already under guiding, didn’t mean to. A Master protects His slave from physical and mental harm. He allows her to explore but always watches that no harm will befall His charge. He makes her feel safe and secure.
A Master encourages his charge to try new things and to develop and expand on old ideas. This could be mental or physical ; try a new way of thinking, or push a physical endurance for example. But once again these characteristics are intermingled for He will not let her go so far that injury results. There is a line between learning and harming oneself that the Master watches closely. When a slave moves too closely into the line her Master redirects her and pulls her to safety.
Love. Many Masters prefer to put on the macho show and not show their love. But the fact that a Master has taken a slave shows great love and affection. It takes alot of work and energy to nurture a slave along her path so without love the energy spent by the Master would eventually create a negative environment.hmmmm……Let me put it another way…..If the Master doesn’t love His slave, He would eventually come to resent the effort required to train a slave.
The above thoughts portray my impressions of what a Dom thinks. Much of the relationship between a Master and slave is mental. There is a physical side.Many relationships incorporate some protocol. Such as a slave kneeling every time her master enters the room, asking for entrance or exit of a room her Master is in,or wearing certain clothes or items. It is purely on the discretion of the Master how the slave acts and how much He wants to influence her. The slave will always follow these rules as much as possible. Not having been in a RL D/s relationship my knowledge of what they do in private is extremely limited. I have read some stories and some articles from BDSM info sites. But I still feel it is up to the Master how much and exactly what the slave will do. This may change over time, and it may change on a daily basis depending on what is occurring in their relationship.
A slave is in essence a toy for the Master; to tease, play with, be pleased by,to teach , to train. He may do anything to His pet short of harm and she may not say no. She is to be available to Him at all times, circumstances permitting.
The slave has given herself over to a Dom. She will accept His word as law, conform to His demands as much as she is able to, and try to live the life He feels is best for her. He is there to help her grow and learn in love. He is her Master.
I have already touched on many topics in the Master section and will comment on how the slave should feel about these in this section. The Master guides His slave. She should always listen and learn. An open and willing mind and personality is a must. He is not forcing her to become something she cannot be but rather He is showing her what she can and might be. She depends on Him to know the best road for her to travel and the pitfalls inherent with any journey. She trusts Him implicitly.
Again I have touched on protection in guidance. A slave knows her Master will never harm her and lays her life in His hands. She trusts Him completely and without reservation.
A slave is loved and cherished by her Master. She has given Him a gift of herself, the most precious thing she has. He knows this and accepts the gift in the fashion it was intended. Like wise the slave loves her Master, honors Him in thought and deed. By submitting to Him she displays her love for Him. Only through true love may complete trust be found.
A slave gives her power and self to her Master. It is an inner yearning and desire for her to do this when she finds one worthy of her gift. This power exchange does not trouble her , but gives her great pleasure. In giving over of herself she accepts what her Master says and does to her without question. She obeys Him. The way she acts reflects upon her Master so she will never say or do anything to bring Him shame. The respect each gives to the other is absolute.
A topic I would rather avoid like the plague is punishment but it was specifically mentioned so…Punishment is used to modify behavior. I feel it is easily divided into two groups;physical and mental.Of the two I fear mental punishment more. Physical punishment is just that,pain. Be it positions for hours,beatings,or other means of torture to bring about a change in behavior, it is up to the Master’s option what He uses or prefers to use. The slave does have an option to scream, rant , and rave but this will not change the punishment and she may end up gagged for her efforts. Mental punishment is more deadly and I feel more long term(to me at least). The slave is punished without being physically touched to modify her behavior. This could be anything from having to do something she doesn’t like to do to being ignored by her Master. It is much to the discretion of the Master, I tend not to think of the options because it scares me. The slave should never resent or be angered by any punishment she receives for it is done out of love. To grow one must learn, sometimes the learning hurts(mental or physical) but it is necessary.
Obviously I don’t like this topic so I’ll move on.
Contracts are used often in BDSM. These can be as simple or as formal as the parties want or the situation warrents. The contents of these contracts are negotiated between the parties. A contract could incorporate a long term relationship, a short term romance, or even a day or scene. They help both parties know exactly what is expected of them and where they stand with the other party. Contracts may also be verbal, something like a promise, but just as binding. To break a contract is to bring shame and dishonor to yourself, a fate worse than death. Only a Master may terminate a D/s relationship. The contract may be nullified if abuse toward the slave occurs. It is up to Him normally if it will end or not. Technically everything the slave owns before the relationship becomes property of her Master, and anything she gets during that time is also His. If a relationship is terminated, the slave gets only what the Master deems she deserves. He may return it all…or none.She has no say in this either.
Another topic is the safe word. Safe words are used mainly to protect the slave, but also the Master. Usually there is only one safe word, but I have read about using three. In the three safe word structure there is the green, yellow, and red word. The green indicates the slave has a physical need, ie: cramp, thirst, bathroom break. The yellow indicates she is getting slightly uneasy about what is occurring but it’s still okay. The red word is used when the slave is about to go postal. With the red word the master must stop all activity and discuss with His slave what created the problem. This does not necessarily stop the situation, He may continue the scene in spite of what His slave feels for He is the Master and in charge. In the one word safe word it is the red word and is used in the same fashion.
In everything the Master does He must keep the slave’s mental and physical health upper most in His mind. She has given herself to Him completely, and any perceived neglect , whether real or not, could very well destroy her trust thus ending the relationship.
In summery,a slave is owned by her Master. She is His toy and pet. What she is, what she becomes, is what her Master wants. In other words, she is only what He allows her to be, what He permits her to become. Both parties are equal , they exist separately but crave one another. A slave is submissive no matter if she has a Master or not- she would rather have one though. A Master is a Dom even if He has no sub or slave, but He will keep looking for one that He believes could be symbiotic with Him.
I haven’t touched on the topic of whips, chains, and bonds. It’s not that I don’t think they deserve some sort of recognition in a BDSM relationship, but it’s not the most important aspect,actually it is a small but enjoyable part of BDSM. Suffice it to say I have little experience here and will not say more.
I know I missed alot, but this topic could fill a complete book. But I did learn alot from it.