The Why of BDSM
I am going to explain to you why a D/s relationship is the most natural state a human being can be in. In the most cohesive and coherent way possible I will show you how we are genetically favorable to this state and how society tries to suppress it. There are no documents to back any of this up, it is pure conjecture on my part. I feel in my heart my theories are true if unprovable. As a species we have evolved in infinite ways, yet we still retain some basic genetic make-up. In our early years this genetic make-up is openly expressed, later on in our development society changes our way of thinking to make us conform with what they consider the “norm”.
Eons ago man evolved from apes. He changed and adapted to his surroundings in many ways. To survive man and woman took on separate roles, these roles becoming incorporated into their DNA so their offspring would have a better chance of survival. The male became the protector, the defender, the leader. The female retreated to a care-giving role, dependent on the male. This sex separation is found in many animals, most in fact. For the female to survive she must respond to her Dominant male immediately and willingly because it could mean her life or death at any given moment. That is how they survived, how their offspring survived to carry on their genetic make-up, and how nature was meant to be.
These ingrained differences can be seen in the physical appearance of most species ( no-I don’t mean by the sex organs!) . Take these silver pheasants for example ( they happen to be mine). The male is very bright and noticeable where as the female is muted and submissive in tones. Nature made it so the male could protect the female from predators by drawing attention away from her by his bright coloring. The female tends to blend into her surroundings making her less of a meal target. This way she may set on her eggs and raise their offspring with less risk of discovery. By allowing the mates to function this way, they have a better chance of their genetic pool being passed onto the next generation thereby giving that generation a better chance of survival.
Let’s take the next logical step and use that thinking on the homosapien species. When man evolved from apes he developed roles for the male and female. ( I admit these same roles can be observed in apes but to a lesser degree) The male became the food supplier and protector. The female cared and nurtured the young . Although secondary sex characteristics were not obvious ( secondary sex characteristics being coloring of sexes, a physical difference-larger neck, etc.) they were there. It was in attitudes. The male became stronger and powerful, a leader. The female was softer, dependent on the male. She needed to follow the male without question, obeying him. This was a matter of survival which through many generations evolved into instinct.
This instinct is part of our genetic make-up. We all carry the code in our DNA. Although much of our genetic make-up has changed from the neanderthal days, there are still parts of the code that are basic and remain untouched. We still have arms and legs similar to the cave man, and many other features as well. To prove this I will start at the beginning, a fertilized egg. It starts as a one celled organ, then it divides and creates a form similar to a fish, next it looks something like a rodent with a tail, finally evolving into a human being( the tail having been absorbed) . I believe this fetal development is a micro study in evolution. The fertilized egg continues to evolve from a simple single cell organism through the lower animals and finally to it’s human destination until it progresses as far as it can genetically and stops. It proves that our basic fundamental genetic make-up is still there, our instinct;the genetic code for all the prior life forms the animal mutated from in evolution are still encoded in the DNA. Now to prove this on a more visual plane.
When children are very young, say under five years old, they are for the most part untouched by society and free of outer influences.( ever try to reason with a two year old???? NO WAY! ) Watch them at play. The boys naturally gravitate to the blocks, the sticks, and the trucks. The girls find the dolls and the play house toys. This is genetic, instinct. They are playing at being their natural genetic adults. No one has told them they must play this way or that way, it comes from their genetic code, instinct. They are doing what is natural to them, what feels right.
Without outside influence to change this thinking it would be carried to adulthood. But society gets involved soon and enforces what it considers the “normal and correct” rules for the sexes. How most behave and act has been taught, trained, and pressured into the majority of people. This teaching suppresses the natural genetic code to such an extent that few are aware it even exists any more. But some of us have shed the heavy mantle of society and searched inside us for what we feel is more natural. This can only be accomplished through much soul searching, talking , and re-evaluation of what we feel we are. A D/s relationship is genetically favorable to us. The Dominant protects the submissive and cares for her. The submissive obeys and cares for her Master. It is genetically natural for us to behave thus, it is instinctive.
What society has made is that – man made. They deny their inner genetic codes as much as possible. Am I saying all of society should throw away their ideas and join the D/s world? Not in a million years. Our society has lived this way so long that it would create havoc to change now. Am I saying that the D/s lifestyle is more natural and correct? I am. I did not choose to become a submissive, I have always been one and I always will be a submissive. A Master is the same way. We are the lucky ones that have opened our minds and souls to be what nature knows will allow for our survival.
In summery, we have ancient genetic material in us that for most is dormant. These genes dictate how we are to react to the other sex in a natural way. Society has suppressed these feelings in us so we may function in a world society has created. Our true functions are more of a D/s relationship. If you have either a Dominant or a submissive feeling, consider yourself lucky. Accept these feelings because they are natural and part of you. Do not be afraid of what nature wants you to be.
This is my views on why many of us are Dominant or submissive. Why we crave to be this way and why it is natural for us. I can’t back up my hypothesis , it is only a theory. But it explains why I am what I am, and why I am not ashamed to be this way. How did the BDSM society get started, how does it function, and what its history is I don’t know yet. More research and surfing is needed but I thought to at least get these thoughts down on what I consider the why of its existence. But any help in my research would be appreciated!