Being a sub and a slave

Jan. 1999

I made the mistake one day of saying I was a sub and a slave. So here I am writing about to explain this. There are subtle differences in being a sub ( I will be talking about subs in training to a Master, not ones without a Master) and being a slave. Over the centuries these roles have changed to keep up with our changing ideas and values. There are differences and similarities between them. They can also co-exist if you work on it.

The sub may or may not have a Master. She may wear a training collar for protection from other Doms and to show she is in training. The sub learns and listens to her Master. She obeys out of choice. It is her choice to obey or not although she runs a great risk of losing her Master if she doesn’t obey. She is with Him to learn and grow. This may eventually lead to her giving herself in slavery to Him or it may not. Remember every relationship is different; it evolves and matures in different ways from another relationship.

The slave has given herself totally to her Master. He owns her in every way and has collared her. This is not a training collar but a collar of servitude and marks her as His alone. She gave up her ability to chose when she accepted His collar. Her obedience to Him is mandatory and absolute. She is nothing except what her Master wants and allows her to be.

I know that the subject of sub versus slave could fill many pages and I have over simplified it here. I see the difference in the amount of commitment the submissive gives to her Master. The similarities are many….servitude, dedication, love. But all that is another page, I am to talk about being both a sub and a slave.

Centuries ago a slave was bought and sold from Master to Master. They were born and raised in their servitude and most likely knew no other life nor would they see another way of living. Their entire being was centered around their current Master; having no choice in this person and having to obey without choice. Today even a slave has an option, her safe word. ( Although we try to keep our traditions and the old ways, we must accommodate to an ever changing world) An old world slave would never be allowed to voice an opinion, have a thought, or raise a concern. Today slaves think, discuss, and theorize many issues and ideas. Their Masters allow and encourage this. I am well aware that the Master has the final say, but the slave does have some input albeit limited.

Although we have broken free of the stifling roles society wishes to place on us, we can not ignore everything we know and have learned in our upbringing. We have taken the Master/slave roles and modernized them to suit our modern life. A Master has a limited number of subs and usually one slave at the most unlike centuries past when a Master could have hundreds of slaves. Because He has fewer servants and they come to Him of their own free will (not bought and sold), a Master respects His charges and cares for them lovingly.

Is there ever a 100% slave? I don’t think so. A 100% slave would not be able to halt an activity. This would negate the BDSM use of a safe word, a 100% slave would never be allowed to use it. And without a safe word the safe, sane, consensual aspect of BDSM which we prize and protect so zealously would be compromised. A 100% slave could never discuss ideas and concerns with her Master, could never add her input or thoughts, and could never give herself heart, body, mind, and soul to her Master(He already bought her…she never had those to give).

Do I consider my self a slave? Not in the oldest sense of the word. I am a sub and a slave. I obey my Master (those who know me can stop laughing any time now!) but I also have self worth. I am like most submissives, in the gray area between the extremes; both a sub and a slave.